1. |
in demand indie man
01:56
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what do i wanna be?
some in demand indie man
that's not what i am i think
i'd rather be alone i think
who am i trying to please?
some 20 something photographer
who's not even in your scene
why does this mean anything to you?
i am a conversation i am a radio
i am the fusion of two souls
a human and a dog
i am all of the above
i am all of the above
you just want a mother
you just want the smothering of
love and kiss and cuddles
you just miss your brothers
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2. |
it's never quiet
01:50
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you said i don't like this
you're looking lifeless
press my head against the pillow
sleep when it's quiet
said i look lifeless
i'll show you lifeless
i'll show you knife that's
pressed to the soft part of my neck
and i don't like this but that's just how it went
piece of metal from the kitchen
feel my pulse against the edge
and i don't like this but that's just how it went
put the shell of a pen up my nose
and breathe in and breathe in
and swallow and breathe in
and i don't like it but that's the way it went
nothing happened to me this is just something i did
and you told me it's cause you were sick
you don't have to do this part by yourself again
i don't like it
sleep when it's quiet
it's never quiet
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3. |
teenage alcoholics
04:04
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everything's falling apart
you're here so nothing is wrong
i really was happy with him
i was so happy with him
can you stop hurting my friends?
can you please stop hurting my friends
did it break your heart as well?
that night you went out drinking and i felt
like i was back at fourteen
back when i loved everything
stay up late you don't join me
back when i loved everything
and i'd come home to texting erik
i know i said i'd stop writing songs about you
and i promise you i thought that i meant it
but i just don't want to forget
do you still have vodka coming out of your skin when you sweat
well i'm a magnet for teenage alcoholics, it seems
it's just all my friends achieve
i know i shouldn't ask for these things
but i'll get you back the money
i just don't want to be me
i don't know, i don't know
i don't know how you've fucking coped
all this time without a vice
you ask me why don't i try it and i lie and i avert my eyes
i don't know, i don't know
i don't know how i've fucking coped
i don't know
you ask me why don't i try it and i lie i say it burns my throat
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4. |
||||
if i could find
someone to share my life with
who knows what makes me cry
and when i need it
if i could find
somebody who knows
you're supposed to squeeze the sides
and not the front
when will my body and brain
make a decision of how to remain
when can you realise
you already have a friend who takes care of you every night
you should just realise
you just have to sort out the mood swings and you'll be fine
all's i want is someone next to me ninety percent of the time
is that so much to ask for?
if i could take my friend
out of his cage
we'd both be free
i'm not insane
if i could take my friend
out of his cage
we'd both be free
i'm not insane
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5. |
third person
03:22
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if i were to clench my teeth in my sleep
would you be there to relieve my jaw
it's aching rub your fingers
where my skull halves meet
you say i've been talking in my sleep
i wanna know what that guy's thinking
i wanna know why he says stuff in his dreams
who's he talking to?
no one's interested in you
why do you refer to yourself in third person? why so often?
why are you always someone else if you're just talking to yourself?
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6. |
stand outside
02:21
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my pet puppy won't tell me what's going on
can't find paper to write it on
can't manage to put it in a song
scared and lonely so you be your own pet dog
how are you getting on
the nasty bad side of everyone
smell of vomit whenever you turn on the sink
thought you said you were getting clean
i'm not gonna yell i'm not angry
pierce your lips and kiss you so your lungs don't scream
i think you're like family
can't you see what you're doing to me?
well of course i can
but this feels bigger than me
i'm gonna go stand
outside watching my own body
and i know you don't hurt too much
but i can't help feeling guilty
about the state i'm in
like the reign's been taken from me
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7. |
lighthouse
02:14
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old friend, i had a dream
you came to me
and i woke up like a dead person
the next morning
it made my upper chest
sink into the bed
it made my hands go shakey
and made the skin on my neck turn red
you said i have to take care of a lighthouse with you
said i have to take care of a lighthouse with you
we could blame it on bad timing
but i've been thinking of drowning
and how water in my ears
makes everyone feel underground
and i've been drinking all my water
all from holes dug in the dirt
and i've been eating all my food
all off of branches that i've found
and i've been walking through a forest
trying to find a cop station
and i heard a voice hello
i screamed quick please put down the phone
the police car went by and saw me in my wet clothes
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8. |
suits over dresses
04:04
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i never want to be
the one who tells you awful things
everything that's happening
i'd rather keep it all to me
you tell me you miss me
i tell you so do i
but i have gone missing
and i do not know why
i'm not feeling grateful
that i am the only constant in my life
but my friend told me that there is nature
before and after
maybe i should change my perspective
but i've been changing perspectives, since i was a kid
and i'm tired of it, to be honest
and i'm at the peak of my growing up phases
and i'm tired of it to be honest
would it be better to fast forward to me in an office
in some suits that i'll hate but i'll take over dresses
could i fast forward to my own apartment
i'm tired of sitting in the room
can i get out of my head for a bit
can i move to a place where they take suits over dresses
can i have friends that suit me, i want community
can i make an exception for those i have already?
i don't think we see the world the same
you love your life and see it like a gift
and you love every day and you're grateful for it
i see my time like it's something to waste
it's just something that i want to get out the way
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9. |
clothes pt. 2
04:04
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i don't know how much sense this is gonna make
i'm still a little drunk or high from whatever i did last night
i woke up outside i saw the snow
first time in four months that i could drag me out that hole
i can still feel myself coming down
when you get back home could you please get my washing out?
hang it up to dry and let it sit
you don't unfold the arms so when i come home they're all still
sometimes i'm an addict to therapy
this time though i'm doing a good job of getting clean
daytime veins at night they fade to black
guilty pressure in my bloodstream weighing on my back
im liking a girl for the first time
sort all of your shit out or she'll find some other guy
my body's just a thing to hang my clothes off
kisses on my skin don't matter if i can't feel them
i'm tired of having all my own thoughts
can't someone take over? youll become a better writer
and you'll have a loving father you'll reject being a daughter
and you'll love the arms around you and the people they come from too
and you'll love the arms around you and the people they come from too
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10. |
war song - demo
03:27
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waiting for the bombs to hit
so far away no one even hears them
but the blast irradiates the skin across your face
why are you so sad today?
ask it like i wanna hear about it
who am i speaking to whenever i talk to you?
and every time you see your face
my mind could go ten separate ways
i don't want to get up today
my boy keeps telling me to stay
swaying cause the bombs have hit
shoulder on the doorway, lean against it
no one even notices, you're pale and paper thin
why are you still mad at me?
as if i'm gonna make any changes
you should just save
and i know
that's not what you wanna hear
up at night, the stuff you take in rizlas
is known to cause insomnia, i read up on your shit
i heard your friend had
a heart attack at seventeen
nose always running like you've just gotten done vomiting
quit doing this to me
i heard your friend had
a little too much to drink
i saw a video of it when i was just a kid
i think it messed with me
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11. |
peanut butter - demo
02:58
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my best friend told me that when he was twelve
he found part of a dead body in the forest
i remembered the story five years later
recalled the thoughts like climbing up a ladder
searching through dusty old boxes and bookshelves
and when i asked him why'd you make it up, he said
i was twelve
peanut butter on toast, seven years old
sleep next to my dad, watch tv in bed
seven pm, seven grown to ten
ordering pizza on the phone
neither of my parents are home
wine bottles, sky channels
still makes me crawl up the walls
how do you do it all? how do you do it all
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12. |
write a song about it
02:44
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two gram bags for eighty, should've been fifty
kid, you got ripped off bad
but that's what he said and i know
you're not the type to argue back
so you keep them by your desk
boy, you really underestimated
how much i'd be calling you back
cause one bag is already in the trash
do you want to hear your ringtone?
what it sounds like when i call you
i don't want to be a tool but i've been missing you
and i've been thinking about your fingers
how underneath your nails i'll linger
when you bite and you spit cause you taste me in all the bitter
and i've been thinking about the mornings after
when you get headaches when you need a shower
when i keep you from getting out of bed
keep you tied to your desk
who can tell you're doing so much worse
keep me close keep me there as a comfort
glass of water every time in case i get stuck to your throat
suck me up tell yourself one last time
before you start to float
and you don't want to write a song about it
so you say you won't
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13. |
seventeen
03:43
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i convinced you i was born before 2002
i was born at seventeen
i was born in love with you
i was thinking about art
and the things that you create
and the weight i get in my chest
when somebody else says your name
when you get my letter throw it away
you said it last year in a sleepy tone
'don't doubt for a single second,
i'm so much more in love with you than you know'
and it shows
when your arm's right by my side
but when you're outside
you like to keep it cold
whatever, i'm ready to come and play
whenever you're ready, come and play
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14. |
your box
03:06
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you said somewhere along the lines i forgot how to love you properly
and i know that that's ugly but i still think you're so pretty
that stupid little fuck-up of a love's got me in such of a state
i can't stand to be away from you for more than half a day
and well isn't that the problem? that you can stay away
for more than half a month and not notice how much i've changed
listen to me, carefully
i know that was always a big ask
so i'll try and keep it brief
and i wrote down all the words so you won't struggle to hear me
cause you always thought i was too quiet with the harmonies
and i gave you all my heart all bandaged in bubblewrap
and you took it as a gift and didn't notice all the cracks
and you ignored the sticker 'fragile', and now you think it's fine
when we try to talk together but i miss you all the time
i keep seeing all your art on all my walls and everything
and i keep thinking of the stickers that you printed out for me
and i keep saying if this last month didnt happen we'd be fine
but you made the old me hate himself, you crossed another line
and now how can you redeem yourself again
how can i convince myself to start being your friend
and you'll always have a special little part of where i lie
but i'm moving soon, and i'm leaving your box behind
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